Everyone loves a night at the club, but what is it like after the lights go up? Whether you’re working behind the bar, on the door, or are master of the cloakroom, here are a few things to expect when you quite literally become part of the club.
Everything is sticky
Your hands, your forearms, the bar, the floor, your clothes, your ancestors. Sticky. Everything. All the time.
People will constantly hit on you
The best way to deal with constant drunk people trying their luck is probably voodoo or pretend you are in a preferably gay relationship with another bartender (seriously, it works).
You will stop clubbing
Clubs just aren’t fun anymore. Staying up until 4am has either become the norm or a chore and isn’t the novelty it used to be. On your nights off, you will be angrily slamming a brew down on your kitchen table and wishing your loud neighbours would stop existing. From now on, you will nurse your double vodkas in quiet establishments where you can sit down and enjoy the conversation level music.
You will be driven to drink
Or will start smoking. Dealing with the drunken public for seven hours a night and having to fend off creepy men will finish you off. You will become a hardened, bitter individual. Good luck.
Hello, sleep deprivation
Sleeping until 3pm is now perfectly normal. Your friends know you will not resurrect until about 5pm. You send your lecturers e-mails at the weirdest times. You forget everyone else actually sleeps at a normal time. Yup, your body clock is now irreparably damaged.
Drunk people enrage you
A proper fiery rage. Stop trying to pay for drinks with your student ID. That’s a bus ticket, not your cloakroom ticket. Inevitably, you will swear at a customer. It’s all downhill from there, my friend. Welcome to the peak of customer service.
It is low key the best job ever
You and your co-workers are so wired no one cares anymore. You will go for a beer with any of them while the rest of the world is back at the office in four hours. There is a camaraderie through everyone’s mutual sleep deprivation that unites you like nothing else. Working in a nightclub is a lifestyle, a bitter and twisted lifestyle.